I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
