Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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