She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
