I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
