i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
