I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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