I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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