2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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