would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
