Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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