Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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