highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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