What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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