wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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