your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
last night I used snow as a chaser
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
