there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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