I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
