Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am never drinking with the goths again.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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