And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
