Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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