Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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