Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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