Ambien. No doubt about it.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
