I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I believe in your delicious
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
