Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize