i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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