it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
