So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
