I must be too annoying 4 u.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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