I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
