New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
