Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
