I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
