I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
