ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
