He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
