I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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