am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He shit in the fireplace
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
