Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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