I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
