party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize