How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
