Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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