SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
