the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
