you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
