Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
