Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize