i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
