you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize