I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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