I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
