hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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