I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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