when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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