I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize